FW: relax

A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates,
then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.
Daughter: It's mummy!
Father: How do you know?
Daughter: She didn't say anything.

 

 

A Red Indian walks into a cafe with a shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Sure chief, come in right up." He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee, and the Indian drinks it down in one gulp, picks up the bucket of manure, throws it into the air, blasts it with the shotgun, then just walks out. The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand and a bucket of buffalo manure in the other. He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter, "Me want coffee." The waiter says, "Whoa, Tonto! We're still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What the heck was all that about, anyway?" The Indian smiles and proudly says, "Me training for upper management position: Come in, drink coffee, shoot some crap, leave mess for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day."

 

 

A mom and dad were worried about their son not wanting to learn math at the school he was in, so they decided to send him to a Catholic school. After the first day of school, their son comes racing into the house, goes straight into his room and slams the door shut.
Mom and dad are a little worried about this and go to his room to see if he is okay. They find him sitting at his desk doing his homework.
The boy keeps doing that for the rest of the year. At the end of the year the son brings home his report card and gives it to his mom and dad.
Looking at it they see under math an A .
Mom and dad are very happy and ask the son, "What changed your mind about learning math?"
The son looked at mom and dad and said, "Well, on the first day when I walked into the classroom, I saw a guy nailed to the plus sign at the back of the room behind the teacher's desk and I knew they meant business."

 

 

 

Teacher: Which is the oldest animal in world?
Sardar: ZEBRA
Teacher: How?
Sardar: Bcoz it is Black & White

 

Sardar: Doctor! My Son swallowed a key
Doctor: When?
Sardar: 3 Months Ago
Dr:Wat were u doing till now?
Sardar: We were using duplicate key

 

 

sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do, only differnece is earlier it was 300ml
now it's 1.5 ltr.

 

 

Why does a Sindhi wish for rain?
Because he gets a free car wash.

 

 

Only 20 percent girls have brains, rest have boyfriends!

 

 

Officer: Madam swimming is restricted in this lake.
Lady: Then why did not you told me earliar when I was removing my clothes?
Officer: Well, That is not restricted.

 

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

 

Q: What happens to a boy when he reach puperty
A: He says goodbye to his boyhood and looks 4ward 2 his adultery